Tuesday, March 17, 2009

SuperNoots on TV!!

Not much can make a mother of three little kids panic. It's simply hard to do, because who else is better apt to deal with crisis and stress than she is? Yes, it's hard to do.

Until the co-anchor of a local news show calls her at 10 AM, in hopes of coming to her house in a few hours to film a piece on her business.

While this would send a normal person into hysterics, the mother of three little kids looks around at her hazmat-suit-required-home, her filthy children, her dishelveled appearance in the mirror and says, "Let's do it."

She hangs up with the nice lady on the phone, and hits every speed dial button. And the army which is her family arrives within minutes. Her husband, who only thought he had a busy day at work, is notified that he will be taking the next few hours off, and handed a list of chores.

She tries to collect her thoughts on her upcoming interview while in the shower, but she is distracted by a cat drinking out of the toilet and several children who find this humorous and try to push her in.

As she finishes applying her mascara, she knocks over her tea, which would be no big deal, except she has the impulse to squint, and every woman knows that you can't squint right after applying mascara, or you end up with imprints of your lashes below your eyes. Pretty.

She realizes that the blue shirt she wants to wear is crumpled at the bottom of the hamper. (She has mad ironing skills, though).

She keeps her cool when her youngest boy refuses to wear pants, only swimtrunks. Then he pees on his shirt, not the swimtrunks. It can be done. When you're a boy.

Her daughter whines and cries incessently, because she has been told we will have visitors.

She looks at her well-dressed, oldest boy in admiration, until she remembers he was the one that did this. And you can still see the holes.

She coats her throat with Chloroseptic, hoping to mask the sinus issues she's been dealing with for days.

And the doorbell rings. The fabulous Beth Haynes walks into her home. Beth and her cameraman/producer are immediately instructed to look straight ahead at all times, and please oh please whatever you do don't film in that room, or that room, or that room...

The unnerved mother of three little ones tries not to notice as Beth pauses briefly before taking her seat... dern, forgot to clean the chairs... and calmly answers questions, coherently, and trying not to smile when talking about obesity statistics, but smile slightly when talking about those little rascal kids who don't eat their veggies...

Then Beth says goodbye.

The kids are tired, and so is mother. She looks at her sweet family, who threw aside all their plans and responsibilities for her and the business today, and she wonders if anything is greater than having so many people believe in her and her dream.

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO, Live at Five at Four, March 17, 2009

By the way, all the above is true, except for the part where the mother is calm, cool and collected. My mother-in-law sent me upstairs when it was all over. Just because she was afraid I was going to have some sort of episode. Please. Me?!?

3 comments:

VPZ said...

You're a champ and the kids were perfect on TV!!
Love ya!
Victoria

3 Bay B Chicks said...

You are a star! I always knew I was drawn to you for this quality.

I, of course, read the interview...actually several times. However, I can't find the video footage. Is it out there?

-Francesca

Tiffany said...

Ohmygosh Lori! You crack me up! I'm so glad I scrolled down here to read this! HAHA!!! BwaHAHAHA!!! And it all came together so "cleaverishly". You da' bomb, girl! :) And .... your family sooooo rocks! Thank goodness you had it all under control. wink, wink! :)
~Tiff